Finding happiness for yourself

I suddenly realised that the moments I write more are when my mood is down and my feelings are somehow mixed with bewilderment, anger, and disillusion. That is the moment when I need to shout it out loud, let it out of my chest and stop playing the “happiness game”.

However, today it’s about happiness.

I want to start sharing these moments also, even if when I spent quality time with my dear ones, I don’t necessarily feel the need to write it down, as I appreciate the present more than the past.

Still, I felt like my readers need to now that those moments exist; that they exist because I want them to exist and I make them exist; that bad moments don’t mean being continuously unhappy; that it’s just life and we need to move forward through it; that most of the times our life is how we make it.

Life is about both, happiness and sadness, simple choices and hard decisions.

As we need to stop playing the role of the constant happy person in a “not-so-perfect-life”, in the same manner, we need not be ashamed of being happy and let the happiness out.

Sometimes, this means making more efforts; pushing our boundaries of feelings and make it happen.

How many times it happened to me to feel like not doing anything, but at the same time missing my friends or missing an adventure or just a simple breath of fresh air! And after meeting them, start planning a trip or even just going to the gym or to an adventure park, all my mood caught a positive aura.

Even when we feel like staying inside, watching some series with our cat/dog in our lap, for the sake of our own good, we need to challenge ourselves.

However, the challenge is even harder when you feel like not fitting into any category: talkative/listener; introvert/extrovert; adventurer/constant.

I never know if I really want to stay inside and read a book instead of meeting people or I am actually in one of those lazy days when you need to chase me out of my bed and to be actually thankful for that.

Why? Because I always felt like I am somewhere in the middle: I love to stay some days inside the house just with myself, but after that I get so bored that I just get a coat and rush out having no plan at all; I love to speak with people at a party, but get tired after a time and need to stay alone sometime or just go home before everyone; I love to spend time with my family, but still feel the need to be left alone for some moments to recover my strength.

All these grey situations make me feel like I need to challenge myself more every time.

I will give one of the best examples I have at hand right now.

For New Year’s Eve, I passed through one of these processes. After trying to find people to meet with, gather a group and spend nice time together, but failing graciously, I went in a state where I wouldn’t want to do anything anymore; thinking that I would spend my NYE home, watching TV (or maybe subscribe to Netflix?).

But you know what? I just thought: “Why do we always depend on others in order to feel accomplished or spend a good time?”

Yes, you might consider that being with friends it might be more fun or you are just used to be surrounded by a large number of people. But why not have a great time in two or even just by yourself?

And yes, in order to have THAT great time, I had to go through an entire process of analysation of what I want, why I want, do I really want what I want. And ended up making the best choice of going in the mountains, in two; we got some Magic the Gathering cards, book some bowling sessions, plan some trips around, prepare our snowboarding and skiing equipment and here we went!

And I am very happy for choosing so well, as I am writing right now from the top of my bed, from a mountain resort, with an incredible view from my window; having a feeling of freedom and peace that I wouldn’t have if I stayed home; playing cards and having fun in two, while preparing ourselves for a new year.

So next time you feel like not doing things, reconsider it and think if it’s actually that or you are just in, how I say to my friends, a “lazy mood”.

If you really just want to stay and read a book or listen to music, that’s fine, we all want that from time to time, more often or not, and it’s great when you realise it.

But if you feel like doing something, but don’t have whom to or where to or a plan, just make your own plans. Just for yourself or in two, you will find that amazing things can happen, interesting people can be met, great activities can appear on the horizon or a relaxation moment can be enjoyed while preparing for the next year, weeks, days.

Happy New Year Everyone!!

! This article was written before NYE, but, as I said, I prefer to enjoy the present than think at the past. ❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

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Thanks for reading!

Ana